Angela vs Sasha
by Angelfaced DramaQueen
Summary: a humerous oneshot about what would happen if Angela and Sasha disiede to vistit Ratchet, hurt fealings,big disions,ratchet and clank terrified and rightly so...


DICLAMIER: I DO NOT OWN _RATCET AND CLANK_ IN ANY WAY 0R ANY OTHER STUFF METIONED IN THIS FIC-however if anyone from Isomac games notices this, please see my point-and bring back _Angela_!

A/N-this is just how I think things should be, mainly because I don't really like Sasha and I was outraged that upon close inspection to find that Angela _wasn't_ invited to the premiere of secret agent clanks next mission!-don't believe me? Check it out yourself (RxC 3)-if you find her TELL ME WHERE SHE IS-I mean Fizwiget was there, the plumber-even that builder from rxc1 who broke his drill bit!

Anyway, enough about my _moral outrage_, on with the fic…

**ANGELA VS SASHA**

Ratchet and Clank were working contently on the star ship Phoenixes Bridge; Ratchet was busy fixing a glitch in Al's computer while Clank was sorting his e-mail.

When suddenly:

Clank –incoming call from…the Bogon galaxy.

Ratchet –WHAT! (Jumps up suddenly whacking hiss head off Al's computer desk) BOGON! But….

Clank-transmitting now-

The large screen on the bridge lit up with the picture off a very irritated female lombax in a blue jumpsuit and a ponytail.

Angela-Clank! What the hell's the idea? Running off without the slightest bit of warning-saving another galaxy-NOT INVITING ME TO YOUR LAST PREMAIERE!-Going on Dread zone-all without telling me!

Ratchet was still hidden from view under Al's PC desk, seriously considering bashing his own brains out with his wrench.

Clank-yes, um sorry about all that, you see we couldn't get though to you in anyway and the hypo drive on Ratchets ship …blew up on impact.

Angela-anyway, I tracked down where Vox kidnapped you to go to Dreadzone, this ship I belive..I also hacked into your living quarters cameras while you were there, so tell me Clank. Who's your new little robot friend?

Clank slinked down into his chair.

Clank-oh who Venus?-she's just a friend, who err helped us escape.

Angela-oh I _see_…..so where's Ratchet? I've missed him soo much.

Ratchet sheepishly emerged from his hiding place.

Ratchet- oh Angela, babe-long time no see.

Angela-don't you give me that you_ jerk_!-I was at that restraint for _3 days_ waiting for you sorry butt to show up!

Clank-(wow, now _that's commitment_!)

Ratchet-(turning on the charm) oh look I'm really sorry sweetheart-but like Clank said we had no way of contacting you and with the Terrinoids and Dr nefarious and Dreadzone...

Angela- (now considerably more calm than before) I understand…heehee and to think I though you were with someone else...hahahahhahahhahahahhaha

Ratchet-(starting to sweat rapidly) aheeheeheee (oh god if she finds out...) what an imagination-you know well you're the only Lombax for me.

Angela- (grinning slightly) ah you still so sweet-look I've locked onto you coordinates and should be in your ship's dock in 1 hour.

Ratchet-what,……

Angels-see ya cutie! (End transition)

Ratchet slumped back into his chair.

Clank-err incoming call from the new mayor of metropolis...

Ratchet-(smacking his head with his wrench) of course it is-go on, put her though…hi Sasha...

Sasha-well, you don't sound too happy to see me.

Ratchet-(sitting up straight) don't be silly-I'm always happy to see my girl, and my god doesn't she look more gorgeous every time I see her!

Sasha- then I'll look ravishing in an hour. Look I left my grind boots on the phoenix last week-is it okay if I pick them up.

Ratchet-oh-ye-shure, look there's this new place opened up on Aquatos-very swank-and I want to treat my special girl

Sasha-oh ok, - if you insist-see ya in an hour!

Ratchet goes back to working on the computer.

Clank is giggling to himself.

Ratchet- and just what are you sniggering at!

Clank-just-hheehhee-its gonna get pretty crowded in about an hour-hhheehheee-what with Sasha and Angela...

Realisation hits like a tonne of bricks.

Ratchet- OH...MY…- GOD! (grabs Clank by the shoulders) THEIR GONNA KILL ME-OR _WORSE!_-I GOTTA GO!-I GOTTA HIDE!-I GOTTA GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE!

2 seconds later in the escape pod room.

Clank-aren't you over reacting? Just a tad?

Ratchet was busy throwing various weapons into the cargo hold.

Ratchet-no, not a bit. (Jumps into ship) look, cover for me and call me when they've gone…or devoured each others internal organs…

Clank-but…

59 minutes later in the ships docking bay Clank was pacing worriedly. His sound sensors pricked. His microchip ready to blow a fuse from stress.

Suddenly he heard it-the unmistakeable sound of ship engines.

Clank braced himself as two different ships entered the docking bay.

As the two women exited their spaceships, Sasha was the first to talk

Sasha-hi! I'm Sasha, mayor of metropolis, president's daughter and former captain of this vessel. (She babbled as she shook Angela's hand) and you must be Ratchets sister…

Angela-teehee no I'm not his sister, though we do look a bit alike-I suppose that makes us a cuter couple-

Sasha-couple?

Angela-oh I'm Angela from the Bogon galaxy, I'm Ratchets girlfriend.

Sasha-(dropping Angela's hand) huh? But I've been dating Ratchet for 2 years now.

Angela-WHAT!

Sasha-I'm just here to pick up my grind boots and then we were going out to dinner.

Angela-THAT SLIMY SON OF A QUARK!-YOU MEAN TO SAY-EVER SINCE HE LEFT BOGON-YOU AND HIM-YOU'RE NOT EVEN HIS SPECIES! HE'S A LOMBAX AND YOU'RE A...A...

Sasha- a Cezer.

Angela-WHATEVER!-We had it made!-and after all we went through-and all the nights-and all the things he said-YOU TRAMPY BITCH!

Sasha-hey! Hey! its not my fault!-he never mentioned you ever and he came onto me!

Angela- yeah sure he did.

Sasha-seriously! He proposed to me the first time we met for crying out load!

Angela-WHAT?-THAT TWO TIMING-(whips out zodiac and pints it at a terrified Clank)-WHERE'S THAT UNSPEAKABLE LITTLE _CREEP_!

Clank-I ah…ah...

Sasha (taking out her plasma whip)-SPILL IT TIN CAN or else Helga will be cleaning your electronic brains off the walls for weeks!

Angela-I want to make this perfectly clear-I don't like you and the only reason your not dead right now is because I want to hear Ratchets side of the story!

Sasha-ditto, now tin can, to the bridge, call out Ratchet from where ever he's hiding-or else…caned soup!

So taking clank hostage the girls hid behind him as he made the fatal call.

Angela-get him to talk and no tricks!

Clank-yes's…..Ratchet? Come in Ratchet.

Ratchet's worried face lit up the screen-he looked like he was on some far off deserted planet. In a cave

Ratchet-are they gone? Who killed who? Did it get messy? Is it safe to come back?

Clank-I, err, yep their gone, they were pretty upset and err neither of them are speaking to you.

Ratchet-is that all? (Sigh of relief)

Angela pokes clank hard in the back

Clank-err ratchet…how could you treat them like that! Their both gorgeous, sophisticated, kind, **_merciful_** girls.

Ratchet hung his head.

Ratchet-I donno, I guess I got totally side tracked when I met Sasha, - I mean 'wolf whistle'

Sasha grinned, Angela glared back at her.

Ratchet-but Angela…gawd we've been through so much, and…I love her...-I just, UGH!

Sasha mortally wounded. Angela blows a raspberry.

Ratchet-Clank? I didn't know robots could fart.

Clank-err a fuse blew err a circuit…just get back here!

Ratchet-roger that…thanks mate.

Ratchet returned to the star ship were he was confronted by two heavily armed and extremely angry women.

Angela- YOU JERK!

Sasha-HOW COULD YOU!

Angela-YOU CREEP!-WHERE WERE YOU BORN UNDER A ROCK!

Sasha-WHAT KIND OF MOTHER RAISED YOU? YOU LITTLE GIT!

Angela-censored

Sasha-even _more_ censored

Angela-THE FRIGGING PROTO-PETS HAVE MORE COMMEN DECENCY AND RESPECT-YOU APSOLUT PRAT!

Sasha-YOU'RE COWERD, YELLOW-JUST LIKE YOUR UGLY 5 SEOSONS AGO FUR SCALES!-OUCH! WHATCHA DO THAT FOR?

Angela-_HEY I HAVE THE SAME FUR_-YOU SLAG! ANYWAY: YOU ARE THE LOWEST FORM OF LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE IN ALL NATERAL EXISTANCE!

Sasha-YOU SHOULD CRAWL INTO A DEEP HOLE UNDER A ROCK AND DIE!

Ratchet felt very very very very very small "er…where's Clank?"

Angela-he's preoccupied at the moment (meaning he was duck-taped to a pipe)

Sasha-do you know who I am? I am the mayor of metropolis-I'm the friggin presidents daughter!-where do you get the _nerve_ to screw around with me!

Angela-and you just LEAVE me!-you chose right now-me or her!

Ratchet (looking from one hurt angry face to another) -I…I… I can't take the pressure!

Suddenly he just buried his head on the desk he was closest to and just cried like a little lost child.

The girls were pretty taken back-Ratchets been through _a lot_, but he's never ever _cried._

Sasha-RIGHT THAT'S IT-I'LL MAKE THE DISION _FOR_ YOU! WE'ER THROUGH-I AM _SO_ OUTTA HERE!

She storms out.

Angela stares at the whimpering intergalactic hero, lowers her weapon, suddenly all her anger, all her hatred…just, melts away and all she see's the lombax she trusted her life with, the one who saved her home…the one she loved. (A/N wwhaaaaa! Pass the tissues!)

Angela-are you okay?

Ratchet-don't look at me! I'm a worthless piece of flit!-look just _go home_! I don't deserve her or you, especially you-I deserve to die horribly and, and, alone! I...I...

He runs out the door and fly's off in a ship.

Angela-oh ratchet….

A tear trickles down her soft yellow cheek.

Ratchet had parked on an asteroid over looking Vedlin "I wish I could've said good-bye to Clank"

He really wanted one thing in his life, to die fighting. But now he'll just have to settle for dieing on his feet. Sighing, he pulls out his old R.Y.N.O and puts it to his temple, closing his eyes and prepares to pull the trigger when-

"NNOOOOOO!" Out of no where Angela snatched the R.Y.N.O out of his hands.

Ratchet-Angela!- (he was interrupted by Angela kissing him like a demented bride on steroids)

(A/N: you know in Titanic when Rose jumps out of the life boat and runs to Jack on the grand stair case and Jacks like "your so stupid rose!-why did you do that?-why?" THAT'S THE KIND OF KISSING THAT'S GOING ON HERE and every kiss will be shown viva 'xoxoxo'-ok? Every time you see that, it's a kiss-nothing more. Right, on with the fic-)

Ratchet-Angela I'm sorry! Xoxo-so sorry!

Angela-(in tears) its okay! xoxox Its okay!-I forgive you! Xoxoxoxo

Ratchet-god I love you so much it hurts! Xoxox

Angela-I was so scared when you were gone! xoxox

Ratchet-I didn't mean to hurt you like that! Xoxoxo I love you more than ever! xoxox, with all my heart!

Angela-its okay, we can start again! xoxo-

Ratchet-you're right. (pulling apart) Angela Cross, you are now an official member of the Q-force…genetics division!

Angela-you mean it!

Ratchet-welcome abroad!

Angela through her arms around him and they shared a long lingering kiss.

Meanwhile on the star ship phoenix….

Clank- hello? Angela? Sasha? ...Ratchet? Anyone….help me.

A/N-what did you think? Funny? Soppy? Rubbish? REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW...now! (Picks up zodiac)


End file.
